The Rose Diaries Ch. 23


Disclaimer and Notes: The Rose Diaries is an incredibly dark story focusing on forced (heavy emphasis on “forced”) feminization of a completely non-compliant individual. There are elements of non-consent, violence, and dark subject matters. In addition, this story depicts dysphoria, dissociation, and general depression.

I hope you do enjoy this chapter if you decide to continue reading. If you do enjoy this chapter, please leave a comment/feedback and let me know!

Act 3 will have moments of intense physical violence.

Act 3 is also the shortest being only three chapters long.

Thank you.


Somewhere on the I-90

Washington State

October 17th, 2016

The electricity that had coursed through the veins of his comrades had finally been grounded and cut off. In every seat, besides the front of the car, the sounds of peaceful slumber could be heard. Peter did not know when everyone had decided to almost simultaneously pass out. He only knew that when Petal had rested her head on his shoulder and began to drool onto his lap. To some such an action would have been highly disgusting, disturbing or perhaps insulting. But to him, he had found it for a lack of better word charming.

In all of his time in the prison that was Blackstone, he had never seen Petal asleep nor any of his friends for that matter. So, he couldn’t help but smile when nearly the entire car had thrown away their manic energy and slipped into a calm and delicate sleep. That they had felt so safe, so at peace, that they had just let themselves go with no notion of the dangers that could potentially surround them.

But both of his friends in the front seat were wide awake. He was thankful for Belle’s resilient and strong nature or whatever had kept him awake behind the wheel as they drove ever down the interstate. But he couldn’t help but feel a bit confused at Lily who had not for one moment taken her eyes off the rearview mirror. He focused on her almost angered expression, her cold eyes that didn’t seem to even regard any of them in her sight. She meant him no harm and he knew that to be fact, but a chill still ran down his spine regardless. She was so incredibly tightly wound that he worried she was going to snap at any mere moment. Peter couldn’t help but worry that all of the craziness had broken down Lily’s spirit. That she was on the verge of breakdown the likes he had never seen anyone before. He could feel his heart race at the mere thought of such a thing. He had spent the majority of his adult life working retail and so the very idea of such a thing had gripped his heart tightly with fingers of icy-cold dread. Then he sighed in relief as he realized what it truly was.

She wasn’t about to break but instead she was so tightly would to prepare to lash out at any danger that would dare to come her way. She had not broken but instead had focused all of her willpower into an unbreakable shield to safeguard herself and possibly all of them from any future or incoming harm. He wanted to say something to her. To tell her that it would all be alright and that there was nothing to fear. That she could afford to lower her guard if not fully then just temporarily so she could allow her body to rest. He knew the dangers of being constantly defensive. He knew how utterly exhausting it was. Her eyes flickered to him suddenly and he instinctively looked away. Whatever mad calculations or machinations that lay behind that gaze he did not wish to disturb. After all, he had her to thank for all of this. For allowing him to see beyond the verdant sea and back into the world once again.

“Peter, you okay?” She called suddenly even if her gaze was cold, her voice was warm and filled with genuine concern for him.

“Yeah, just thinking.” He nodded back.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He paused for a moment. “Hey, so um, I don’t want to call you Lily anymore.”

“Good,” She laughed. “Because I don’t either.”

“So, what can I call you?”

“How about my name?” She leaned back so that she was facing him.

“Which is?” She frowned at his words and sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Seriously?” She scoffed. “It’s James.”

“Thank you, James. I knew that.” He lied.

“Bullshit. That’s Brian by the way.” She hooked a thumb towards Belle. “Remember that?”

“No, that one I did not.” He chuckled. “I suppose I’ll get everyone else’s names when they wake up.”

“Good idea.” She nodded turning forward again. “Let’s leave those names behind us where they belong.”

“Agreed.” Belle muttered.

“So Brian, how’s it feel to talk again?” James smirked and Brian scoffed loudly at his comment before taking a deep breath.

“Fucking incredible.” He added.

“How about wearing clothes?” James smirk grew ever bigger.

“You know I know you’re just making fun of me, Jim.” Brian shook his head. “Yeah, it’s nice. Is my shirt inside out or something?”

“I’d have told you if it was.”

“No, you wouldn’t!” Brian sighed. “Cause you’re a fucking bastard.”

“So, Betturkey how’s it feel to have a cock again?” James snickered loudly. Brian paused surveying the road ahead for a moment as he took a deep breath. Then he punched James as he hard as he could in the arm.

“Ow! Shit!” James cursed as Brian smirked this time.

“Shithead.” He laughed. “It’s alright.”

“Was that the first time you go to take that cage off?” Peter piped up.

“Fuck no! God no! Gross!” Brian winced and shivered in disgust. “I got to take it off to shower and clean it. That’s just fucking nasty, Peter.”

“Sorry.” He sighed. “I didn’t mean to gross you out.”

“It’s okay. How come you’re not asleep with the others?”

“I,” Peter paused as he glanced back out the window. He watched the road pass on by for a moment as he found the words for the excitement he felt. How body which should have felt sluggish and weak was overridden by his mind that ran at speeds unknown to him before. He felt like he could do anything. Be anything.

“I don’t know.”

“Adrenaline?” James asked rejoining the conversation. “Because I’d hazard a guess to say that’s what fucked everyone else up back there.”

“No, it’s not that.” Peter sighed. “I just don’t want to? I don’t know. It just feels like there’s the sparks, y’know?”

“Sort of?” James shrugged.

“But I haven’t felt this way since we left the house in the dust behind us. I just feel so free.”

“Sounds nice.” Brian sighed dreamily. “I’m still wired from all that sneaking around for my life.”

“You still good to drive?” James asked quietly.

“Ah yeah,” He nodded. “I’m good.”

“Good cause the last thing we need is to be pulled over by the cops due to your shitty driving.”

“Okay,” Brian scoffed as the engine roared to life. “Well it’d probably be about me speeding now.”

“I’d hit you if you weren’t driving.” James frowned.

“That’s why I’m driving.” Brian laughed. “Bitch.”

“Is this how you two always were?” Peter asked quietly. The car fell into silence at his question.

“Yeah, Peter. Whenever Miss K. wasn’t around, we’d fuck around like this.”

“Well,” James said leaning on his elbow. “Sometimes we’d do it around the Misses, but it’d be far more subtle. It’s good to have a friend to rely on when you’re in a place like that. I’d have broken without Brian.”

“Ah.” Was all Peter could think to say. He didn’t know what else to add. He didn’t have any nearly as close to him during his time at Blackstone. Instead, he survived off of his own rage and fury. He survived for this moment alone. The chance to return home. The chance to begin once again.

“You good?” James asked once more and Peter shook his head.

“Do you think we can turn on the radio or something?”

“No.” Belle growled immediately at his request. “No radio.”

“Are you okay?” He leaned forward.

“I,” Brian sighed as grimaced. “I’m scared.”

“Of the radio?” Peter cocked an eyebrow. “I mean it can’t hurt you.”

“No, Peter. I’m scared of what I’ll hear.”

“I’m not following you.”

“Ugh!” He groaned loudly as he hit the steering wheel with his palm. “I’m scared of how much has changed, okay?”

“Oh.” He muttered as he shifted in the seat at his outburst. “I feel the exact opposite. I need to know what the hell happened while I was gone. For all I know the world ended and this is the aftermath.”

“Yeah well,” Brian gripped the wheel so tight that his knuckles went white. “You weren’t gone for as long as I was. I might as well have been dead.”

“But you aren’t, and you weren’t. You were alive, Brian. You don’t want to know what went on?”

“Maybe! No? I don’t fucking know!” He groaned again. “What does it matter to you?”

“Because that doesn’t make sense! We were isolated, deprived of knowledge, and now we have the chance to finally learn about all of it. We can rejoin society as members of it and not just prisoners trapped in a bubble of censorship.” Peter could barely contain his frustration of him. His words nearly tripping out of his mouth as he attempted to keep a calm and kind tone.

“Are we still talking about the same thing here?” James chuckled. “Because I don’t think that we are.”

“Good for you, Peter.” Brian spat back. “But I’m not like you. You were there for how long? Six months. I was there for four fucking years, Peter. I did shit that I will never forget. I knew only two constants, misery and James having my back. So, who gives a fuck about who did what or what happened? It’ll only make it harder for us right now.”

“What?” Peter hissed. “How would that make it harder?”

“Because we aren’t safe yet! Why the fuck do you think we’re going so far? Did you think it’s because we were going on the scenic route? What the fuck is wrong with you?” He yelled. Even at his outburst, no one in the car stirred. In the aftermath of Brian’s anger, Peter fell silent. He had no more words to add. No more rebuttals. There was nothing more to say.

“Can Betturkey Giriş we just agree on one thing?” James shook his head.


“What?” They both answered.

“We’re going to need a buttload of therapy after this.” He chuckled. Peter couldn’t help but laugh with her and soon even Brian joined in.

“Yeah,” He said. “Yeah we are.” Peter stopped laughing after that. The sparks began to fade as the thought that he had banished for so long kept slowly creeping back. He couldn’t help but to think of the two that they had left behind. For all he knew, Dennis was dying in the grass or in Doctor O.’s office and Daniel was still being tortured. Perhaps doubly so now that he was missing from the house. He felt his stomach drop as the thought came crashing down upon him.

He had doomed Daniel with his actions. He had completely fucked him over by running away without him. He had abandoned his best friend to those monsters who would likely kill him after being consumed by his own anger. But what Peter was most concerned about was a singular question.

Had he made the right choice? Or had he made an awful terrible mistake.

“James,” Peter’s voice was robbed of any previous joy leaving only a cold and broken echo to his words. “James, did you mean what you said?”

“About therapy?” He answered back with a nod. “I mean, yeah?”

“No, about Daniel. About Jade.”

“Oh.” James quickly cast his gaze away and to the outside world. “Yeah.”

“Did you though? Or was that a ploy to get me to come with you?” Peter growled.

“I meant it, yeah. But also, I wasn’t going to leave you behind Peter. You didn’t deserve that fate.”

“But did Daniel?”

“Daniel didn’t either!” He sighed. “But like I said there was no way to get to him. When we left last night, he was with Miss R.”

“Fuck.” Peter groaned.

“And frankly?” James’ eyes refocused back on him with an angry glare. “I don’t fucking appreciate you thinking that I’d do that.”

“Do what?”

“Manipulate you? Use your emotions against you? I’m not them, Peter. I’m nothing like them.”

“So, you’re going to go back with me then?” Peter asked as James looked away once more and went silent.”No.” He finally said.

“So, then what the fuck did you say that for?!” He screamed at him. James flinched at his outburst, but Peter could only feel his anger beginning to take hold. He had made the wrong choice. He had trusted the wrong person.

“Peter, I can still help you save your friend. I promise you that I will. We can go to news stations, we can go to the police, or we can just spread the word, but we will get your friend back. I will save Daniel. I promise.”

“You promise?” He scoffed.

“Well what else do you want from me? Have you seen what Blackstone is capable of? Have you realized how out of our depth we are? I don’t mean to scare you, Peter but it’s going to take a hell of a lot of work to bring it down.”

“I know, James.” He hissed as he could feel his rage burning up inside him. “I know what Blackstone is capable. I watched them manipulate my older brother’s life to hurt me, I watched them torture and demean literally dozens of boys in a small town, and then I watched them possibly murder four other boys when they tried to help me. I know better than you what Blackstone is capable of. So, drop the fucking act. Just admit that you aren’t going to help me.”

“Who the fuck said that?!” James screamed in anger, his voice breaking as he did. “I can’t give you an answer. I don’t have an answer! All I can offer you is help! I would never ever lie to you Peter. I would never use your emotions against you, I would never manipulate or hurt you. I just don’t know. I just don’t know how the fuck we can help him, okay?”

“Mmm,” Petal muttered from next to him as she yawned loudly while she stretched. “W-What’s up?” She spoke drowsily. She was clearly not even awake fully, just barely straddling the line between consciousness and sleep.

“Nothing.” James smiled. “You can go back to sleep. We’ve got a long way to go.”

“Okay.” She yawned. “Night.”

“Can we talk whenever we stop the car?” Peter sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you around the others.”

“Sure. I don’t want to fight with you period.”

“Hey guys,” Petal smiled as she leaned her head against the door. “I’ve been thinking about it. I think this is the best I’ve slept in years. I mean, the beds at Blackstone were nice but this overcrowded car and this hard door is still better than what I had back there. Thank you, James. I think I owe you everything for taking me along with you.” She yawned as she snuggled further into the door and sighed contently.

“That’s okay. I would do it again if I had to. I’m just glad you’re happy.” James’ voice had no signs of his previous frustration. Instead, a warm smile spread across his face as he looked back her.

“Night.” She yawned and just like that, she began to breath softly as she drifted off. The three of them said nothing. They did nothing. They just Betturkey Güncel Giriş sat still for a few moments as they let the serenity of the car permeate their souls and bring them back to the state of joy they had felt before the argument. Finally, James cleared his throat and yawned.

“Hey Peter, what’s the first thing you’re gonna do when you get home? Like after we save Daniel. After everything has settled if all goes according to my plan.” He asked with a smile.

“I’m getting my job back.” Peter didn’t even hesitate with his answer. Sure, he would love to see his friends, to sleep in his bed, to be at home once more. He would even call his father and brother and apologize. explain what had happened. Then reality hit him like a truck. “Oh shit.”


“I’ve got fucking six months of rent to pay, I’ve got my Netflix, my utilities, my cellphone, and my insurance. All that food in my fridge is probably spoiled to hell.” Peter buried his head in his hands as he thought of the mere stench of his apartment. Would he even have a home to go back to? Would he even have a job? What next? He hadn’t even considered what his next move would be after Blackstone. He hadn’t even considered how he’d even stay afloat financially.

James and Brian gave a small quick look to each other before snickering loudly and then without warning breaking out into loud uproarious laughter.

“Hey!” He hissed. “What the fuck is so funny?”

“It’s just,” James gasped for breath between fits of laughter. “It’s just I never ever considered that. I never had to do any of that. I just think that your mind is already focused on bills is hilarious.”

“Same here. That’s incredible.”

“Well, what the hell do you two assholes plan to do?” He huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. He waited for them to calm down until their laughter slowly wound to a halt and James wiped the small amount of tears from his eyes.

“I’d like to go home. When Blackstone took me, I was still pretty young. Did you know I have four brothers? It was just me, my mom, and my Dad. I just want to know how they are, to tell them I’m here, to see how they’ve changed. My youngest brother was five when I was taken, my oldest was nineteen. I just want to be a part of my family.” His voice was quiet and calm filled with notes of sadness of times that he had missed and regret of how his life had played out. Peter knew that pain all too well.

“I’m sorry.” He offered his friend. “How long has it been since you’ve seen them?”

“Too long.” James sighed.

“I,” Brian spoke up. “I’m happy for the both of you.”

“What?” Peter tried his hardest not to let his confusion spread to his face.

“I can’t go home after all this. I don’t want to either. After all this, I don’t think I’ll have a home to go back to. It’s why I’m glad in part that the Misses provided us with so much valuables. There must be millions in jewelry that we snagged from that place. Diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, pearls, gold, silver, and god knows what else.”

“Not millions.” James shook his head. “I’m going to say maybe a million at best. Maybe two or three. For all we know, they gave us costume jewelry.”

“I don’t think so.” Brian scoffed at the number. “Blackstone loved to flaunt how much money it had so of course they’d give us the real deal.”

“Well, we’ll find out later.” James shrugged as he went back to looking out the window.

“I’m going to take that money from my jewelry and start a new life. That’s my plan. I’m going to find a quiet place and forget about this.”

“Well, if you want Brian, you can take mine too.” Peter nodded. “I don’t know what’s in there but I think you’ll need it more than me.”

“Thanks Peter.” Brian smiled. “I appreciate it.”

“Brian,” James turned his attention to his friend. “Look.” He jabbed a finger at the sign on the side of the road. A sign that simply read, “Welcome to Idaho”.

“Wow, that was quick.” Brian laughed.

“Stay on the highway for forty minutes then turn off to the nearest town, it’s time to go over the rest of the plan.”

He didn’t know if it was forty minutes or four but before he knew it the car slowly left the highway and on to the shoulder until it came to a stop in front of a small forested patch. The sky was no longer blue having changed to a lovely shade of depressing grey. The car idled for just a moment before Brian killed the engine and leaned back with a sigh.

“Right,” James spoke. “Guys! Get up!” He shouted to the rest of the car. Slowly, the group roused from the sleep one-by-one. Eventually, the silence of the car was filled with groggy eyes and loud groans.

“What?” Blossom yawned as she stretched. “What’s going on?”

“Listen to me carefully,” James sighed. “Because this is crucial. This car? This car is Blackstone property. As long as we hang on to this car, we are royally fucked. So, we need money. We’re going to sell a few bags of the jewelry we took. No matter what you all think, there is no better deal or haggling. We’re going to sell them for as cheap as possible. Cheap enough so that the person who takes it without question. Then, we’re gonna get some cash, we’re going to get a new car somehow, and we’re going to get some new clothes. That’s it. Do you all understand?”