Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 15


*You can live without freedom the same way you can live without light, happiness, or music*

(Frontma does me a favor yet again, thank you)

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic, I’d like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)

Jill didn’t know what to make of our prompt appearance Sunday morning for breakfast already dressed for church. I’d convinced Rio to not try a hard sell with my aunt, instead playing it calm, cool, and collected. The real reason we wanted to get to church early was because I’d come up with the idea of screwing Rio on Pastor Bill’s massive mahogany desk before class and she’d become infatuated with the scheme.


We had to remember our Bibles before eagerly heading out the door. Mine went back to my missionary days while Rio’s was brand new, a gift from Jill. She’d lost her old one on the trip from Arizona to Virginia, or so she’d told Jill. In reality, she had torn hers apart page by page and stuffed it down the airplane toilet during the flight – her way of spreading the gospel.

Once at the church, we split up, Rio and I getting together a few minutes later. I was unsure about the security cameras in the hallway but Rio shrugged it off. She followed the wires to the closet the system was kept in, picked the lock, and deleted the last two hours of footage before deactivating the whole system.

I was clever enough to wipe off all our fingerprints before we made for the pastor’s office. This time, Rio’s improvised…lock picks weren’t necessary as the secretary kept the door unlocked. We slipped past her station to the larger office beyond and I chased Rio around to the ‘big chair’.

“So, Bad Boy, are you going to make me a Bad Girl?” Rio taunted me.

I stepped up between her thighs and got ready to feast on her succulent cunt lips when she held me up.

“I don’t think we have time for that,” Rio grinned. She slipped out of her panties, which I quickly pocketed (having learned from the first Barbie Lynn incident), and hopped up on the desk facing me.

I unbuckled my belt, fixed the button, and unzipped my pants. My penis came smoothly out of my boxers and I lined up with Rio’s slit. Her juices were already flowing by the time my cockhead graced her full lips.

“Oh, that’s what I’ve been looking for,” Rio moaned, as I pushed forward inch after glorious inch inside her.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and came close to doing the same with her legs around my waist by the time I was fully into her. I got a few half-thrusts into Rio, our faces only inches apart, when I began to push her back down on the desk.

“No, I want to look into your eyes,” she told me. I nodded and started driving my cock in a strong steady rhythm.

“Rio,” I said softly.

“Yes,” she breathed heavily.

“I like saying your name,” I explained. “I like the sound of it and the way it makes me feel.”

“I…” I was sure she was fighting for a snarky reply but then she smiled and said, “Okay.”

“Oh. God…Oh, Fuck,” Rio gasped, as we began, getting her close to climax. I stopped when I first heard the voices. “What?” Rio panted. I pulled her off the desk and looked for a place to hide. There were three other doors out of the room. I took the closest, yanked up my pants, and dragged Rio to it.

It turned out to be a large closet with vestments, coats, and a few changes of clothing inside. Before I could finish shutting the door, Rio put her hand in the way. Before I could inquire why, the main office door opened and in came Pastor Bill and Lance Wellington. They were yammering on about something or other; I really wasn’t paying attention.

All that changed after Pastor Bill took his seat behind the desk and swiveled it to the side. Lance came around the desk and knelt before our spiritual leader. His body blocked my visual but I heard a zipper being undone and some clothes being pushed aside. What Lance proceeded to do was clear enough, though.

Rio was between me and the door; she looked over her shoulder and grinned evilly. Before long, she had my cock in her hand and was maneuvering it back to her pussy from behind. I moved my hips down, she arched up, and I slipped back into the hole I’d been in not a minute before. I stayed still while Rio began to ride my cock up and down.

There we were, two very different couples separated by less than a dozen feet, both fucking in different ways. Lance was giving Pastor Bill oral attention in a manner that dictated long familiarity to not only cock-sucking, but blowing Pastor Bill in particular. Rio had one hand placed against the door sill in order to stop us from spilling out of the closet while the other was tucked against her stomach.

The four of us were pushing toward climax but Pastor Bill was the first one to the trigger. I was still feeling the oily smoothness of my cock inside Rio’s vagina while rubbing both breasts through her shirt and bra when Lance began chocking and sputtering. The bastard hadn’t Kıbrıs Escort even warned Lance that he was cumming.

Good ole Pastor Bill reached across the desk to grab two Kleenex. As he did so, his other hand came down to rest on a slick spot Rio and I had left on his desk. He looked at his hand with disgust and wiped it off his hand before handing a tissue to Lance.

“Get going to class,” Pastor Bill told his cock-sucking companion.

“Of course, Pastor William,” Lance responded as he cleaned his face. As he headed to the door, he turned to the preacher.

“Do I have to do another marriage counseling session with Felicity? She is so damn annoying,” he whined.

“Lance, you are going to have to keep up appearances and that means spending the occasional night with her,” Pastor Bill lectured him. “As distasteful as she is, she is the socially acceptable choice for your spouse if you plan to have a political career.”

“I wish this whole marriage thing was over with already,” Lance sighed. “Then I could stick her in the house and get her out of my life.”

“Remember, a woman is a duty, but you know how to get your pleasure. Take your pill when you have to lay with her, and if nothing else, use her back door,” he chuckled.

“I suppose so,” Lance conceded, “but I’ll have to shut her up. She blathers on and on incessantly and her voice is so grating.”

“Well,” Pastor Bill laughed, “you can always use her mouth too.” Lance snorted and left the room; Bill followed a minute later.

For our part, the whole exchange between Pastor Bill and Lance got Rio hotter and hotter. She was rocketing back against me until I was afraid the slapping of our flesh would alert our host to our presence.

Once he was gone, Rio went off.

“Fuck me, damn it,” Rio exulted. “I’m going to rape their asses.” I wasn’t sure how that would work. It wasn’t like Rio’s or my word would go all that far. I decided to spin her back around and kick her leg up over my arm so I could fuck her while gazing into her eyes.

The first thing I noticed was the sheer joy etched all over her face. The second thing I noted was her phone in hand, set on record. There was going to be some severe damage over this and I had to do damage control, but first I had to screw Rio to orgasm.

“Ah…ah…ah,” Rio moaned. “You are churning me up inside, you fucking brute. This is so fucking good.”

“And the video?” I inquired.

“Fucking brilliant,” she panted, “My best idea yet.” I drilled Rio several more strong strokes and she gripped me tightly and sexually exploded on me. She kept squeezing my cock with her vaginal muscles as I came in her as she was still cresting her wave.

“Oh, Zane,” she wept tears of joy on my shoulder, “You make all this other shit bearable.”

“No problem, bro,” I sighed happily, “but we need to talk about the video.”

“Yeah,” she snorted, “you have a plan. I’m going to bypass me having a temper-tantrum and get straight to you making me happy with how clever you are.”

“We find more ways to bring Felicity over to our side, then hit her with this when she’s wavering,” I detailed. “We still need credibility and that’s going to take Barbie Lynn on our side. Once we get Felicity, we can get Mrs. Wellington too. That gives us access to everyone in the church.”

I set Rio onto her feet and handed her panties too her. Rio shimmied into them and grinned.

“Now I’m all sloshy inside. Is that thing a damn fire hydrant?”

“You weren’t complaining a minute ago,” I countered.

“I’m not complaining, but all those bitches in class are going to know I’ve been fucked,” she snickered.

“Who are you going to blame?” I wondered.

“Pastor William, our glorious shepherd; I can describe just what his cock looks like now,” she grinned manically.

“I think we are back to that whole ‘credibility’ issue,” I reminded her.

“You aren’t going to let me have any fun,” Rio pouted.

“Well, work on this; I’m pretty sure Lance isn’t the only guy here that the pastor is using. Lance was a tool, nothing more,” I told her. “It could be fun to find out who his other toys are.”

“I hate you for having a better idea than me,” Rio giggled, “but I love your deviant mind more.”

“I love you too, Baby,” I said as I brushed her cheek. “Let’s get to class before they get to ridicule us for arriving late.” Rio grabbed my hand and sprinted with me out of the office. We were late to class but only just. This time I’d studied so Mr. Coleman wasn’t able to humiliate me, though some wise-ass taunted me about being on a women’s committee.

“Yes, I do,” I confirmed, “and what committee are you on?”

“Athletics committee,” he sneered. I gave him a shit-eating grin right back that gave him pause.

“So I hang out with a bunch of MILF’s, which is a pretty red-blooded American male thing to do, while you hang out with a bunch of guys…which is pretty homo-erotic,” I chuckled.

There was a deafening silence in the room. We had broken up for church service Kıbrıs Escort Bayan and a few guys were almost out the door. The target of my aggression was first stunned, then angry.

“Mr. Braxton, that is quite enough out of you,” Mr. Coleman snapped.

“I’m sorry about that, Mr. Coleman. I thought he was ribbing me about my committee so I teased him back about his; I wasn’t serious,” I lied.

Andy, the guy who’d given me a hard time, elected that moment to get in my face.

“That wasn’t funny, Braxton,” he snapped. Mr. Coleman remained conspicuously silent.

“Gosh, Andy,” I quipped, “I don’t know where to begin. How about, we are in a House of God and shouldn’t be raising a fist against one another.”

“If that doesn’t work, do understand that you get the first punch, then I break you like a twig,” I continued with eagerness written all over my face. “You are an elementary school teacher and I have years of martial arts experience.” Andy suddenly paled.

“Mr. Braxton,” Coleman growled again. “How dare you threaten somebody?”

“Um…Mr. Coleman, Andy got in my face, so what exactly are you getting on my case about? Wouldn’t the situation be better served if you stopped him in the first place?” I said.

“Andy should be able to take a joke better,” another guy in my class, Christopher Gilbert, joined in. “Besides, Zane’s right; the wives on the committee are attractive and their husbands are lucky men.”

That seemed to end the matter because Chris Gilbert was the son of somebody and carried weight in this crowd. We continued to depart but I felt obliged to stop Chris.

“Thanks, but I’m not sure why you just backed me up there,” I questioned.

“Maybe you’re not such a bad guy,” he grinned.

I had to think that over. I barely knew Christopher Gilbert. He was 23, son of a big real estate guy…he was a property manager, whatever that was.

“I have to appreciate the timing of your epiphany,” I joked.

“It came to me late Thursday night when I had a security issue at one of my properties,” he grinned. Oh, crap. His daddy must own the mall where I had that little altercation.

“Sorry if I cost you a good night’s sleep,” was all I could say.

“Let me say that, ‘damn, you’re fast,’ and it would have been mean of me to let Andy get his ass handed to him in front of all his friends,” Chris related. “He’s really not a bad guy either.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I nodded.

We were making our way to the church hall when Rio, Iona, and Barbie Lynn intercepted us.

“Hey, Ms. Masters,” Chris said to Barbie Lynn. He looked at the other two girls.

“Christopher Gilbert, this is Rio Talon and Iona Becket, two of my classmates and closest friends,” I introduced my buddies.

“So, Chris, how do you know Barbie-licious?” Rio smirked.

“Huh?” Chris said.

“Rio has an intense sense of humor, Chris,” I intervened. “Pay her no mind.” Before Rio cold make things worse, I placed an arm behind her and pinched her butt. “Behave,” I warned her.

“Okay, Zane,” Chris chuckled. “Good luck with that one. To answer your question: I know Ms. Masters from a few years back at a youth retreat. We were both counselors. Take care now.” He turned and walked off to his section of the tabernacle while the girls and I went off to ours.

“So, Barbie, were you hot for Chris back at camp?” Rio persisted.

“Chris? Nah, he had a girlfriend back then; they both went to the University of Virginia. I think they broke up right before they graduated but I’m not sure,” Barbie Lynn informed us. “Besides, I had a fiancé too.”

“Had? Have you tossed him over for Zane?” Rio teased. I sighed and Barbie Lynn blushed.

“Nah, Shugah, I tossed him over for you,” Barbie Lynn whispered into Rio’s ear.

“Just for that tantalizing tease, no Honey Glaze for those hot crossed buns of yours,” Rio bantered right back.

“Am I the only one who remembers we are in a church?” lectured Iona.

“No, you are not,” Christina surprised us. “Now stop trying to make a scene and sit down with the rest of us.” We dutifully obeyed because three of us respected Christina and I had one of Rio’s arms twisted behind her back.

At the end of service there was no problem getting the gang to go down to the space between the pews and the podium where the important people gathered. I caught Pastor William shooting me a hooded look but I blew him off. I was here for someone else, as was Barbie Lynn and Rio. Iona was tagging along to make sure we kept out of too much trouble.

“Hey, Sahara,” I greeted the pastor’s wife, who hovered near but wasn’t part of the action.

“Why, hello, Zane,” she smiled. “Did you enjoy the service?”

“I’m still a little fuzzy on the message of seeking wisdom in God’s word instead of Man’s technology,” I grinned. “After all, I have an app that gives me helpful Bible verses on demand.”

“I think you missed the point, Zane,” she shook her head with mirth. “We need to trust the Word of God over the simple Escort Kıbrıs technological solutions that fail to take in the moral implications of the results.”

“Wow, when you say it that way, it makes sense,” I applauded. Sahara blushed and gave me another smile.

Rio and Barbie Lynn had closed in on Felicity, allowing Iona and I to come up behind Mrs. Wellington. I put my hand on the small of her back and positioned myself at her side.

“Hello, Mrs. Wellington,” I greeted her. I knew her first look at me would define a lot about how she felt about last night.

“Zane,” she beamed at me. “How are you doing today?”

“Better now,” I grinned. “I just wanted to say that I’m downloading those files we discussed when I get to campus this afternoon.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Bainbridge sneered, “is Mr. Braxton working on a special project already?”

“Zane,” Rochelle Wellington smiled to her rival sweetly, “send Kendra a copy of the notes you showed me. Kendra, Zane has a talent for 3-D imagery that the committee will find quite useful. I thought you might find it nice to have our newest member showing some interest.”

“Oh, it is his interest that I’m worried about,” Kendra commented, with a pretty obvious look toward Sahara.

Before I could respond to that jab, I felt a hand on my shoulder trying to pull me around.

“Pastor William wants a word with you,” Lance informed me.

“Okay,” I shrugged, then turned back to Kendra. “Mrs. Bainbridge, I admit that it is my fault that I find Mrs. Penny to be kinder, more compassionate, and more spiritually understanding than you. She is a gentle soul who better relates to what a young man needs.”

“Pastor William wants to see you now,” Lance insisted.

“That’s nice, Lance. I’m talking to your mother,” I said dismissively. “Rochelle, thank you for agreeing to mentor me; I appreciate you helping me understand this Church and this community by taking some of your valuable time to listen to my ideas.”

“Ladies, have a nice Sunday. Okay, Lance, let’s go see what Pastor Bill wants now,” I told him.

“His name is Pastor William,” Lance corrected me somewhat angrily.

“No, his name is William Penny and he happens to be a pastor,” I jibed. Lance’s response was stymied by our arrival at Pastor Bill’s circle of cronies.

“Ah, Glenn,” Bill greeted me. “I would like to invite you to dine with my wife and I tomorrow night.” I was smart enough to know that wasn’t really an invitation, but still…

“I’d like to but this week is our first round of testing for the semester so I’m not sure I can break free,” I answered.

“You find time enough for other things…like jail,” he lectured me in a personally degrading matter.

“Pastor William, as you will learn about me, people who cross me or threaten the ones I hold dear, I beat bloody and leave broken on the ground,” I smiled evilly right back. The confusion that threat caused was evident because I hadn’t been quiet.

“Jesus loves the Peacemaker,” Pastor Bill bantered back.

“Winners write the history books,” I countered.

“That is not very Christian of you,” Mr. Wellington, the Mayor, pointed out.

“Jesus Christ ended up nailed to a cross; Emperor Constantine, who converted the whole Roman Empire to Christ’s worship, got to build his own city,” I responded.

“I won’t be as famous but I’ll do more and get to bury my enemies before I die,” I added.

“Are you sure you were a missionary in Thailand?” another church elder asked.

“Oh, I was a missionary all right, but not a very good one. I left the hard work to my Uncle Tim and Aunt Jill,” I informed them.

“Did they convert many heathen souls to the World of our Lord?” a third man inquired.

“It is not that simple. They taught people to read English and got them in the practice of reading the Bible,” I explained. “They have over a thousand years of culture to work against and many of the tenents of Buddhism are close to our own Christian virtues so it is hard work.”

“So that would be a ‘No’,” Pastor Bill gloated.

“Really?” I grinned. “When Uncle Tim went missing, 200 of his flock risked floodwaters in an eventually futile effort to save him. How many of us would risk drowning to save you, Pastor William? I would say that when lives were on the line, his flock did their Christian duty.”

I noticed Jill standing on the edge of the group listening, her eyes close to tears. Hey, I hated Tim, but I wasn’t going to let these spineless bastards degrade the man in front of his widow, no matter how I felt.

“I’m sure we would all rise to the challenge,” Mr. Wellington pontificated.

“Then you are as good a man as Uncle Tim,” I trapped him with his own words.

“Your Uncle Tim gave everything, including his life,” Pastor Bill said with a smug, superior smile. “His willingness to give should be an example for all.”

“I’m already giving. The Festivities Committee’s budget seems a bit anemic so I’m going to be funding some of their efforts,” I enlightened him.

“That is not how tithes are normally handled,” Pastor Bill corrected me.

“I’m not a normal guy,” I grinned. “Pastor, I’ll look over my schedule and call your house to let you know if I can swing dinner tomorrow. It has been a wonderful chat but I have to be going now.”