One of the best things in life is finding love where you’re looking. I didn’t find it there that morning. I woke up feeling a silent breath on my shoulders as she slept next to my skin. In precocious places we had melded burning my senses, returning me to the memories of the night before. I could still taste her kisses on my lips and her skillful fingers tantalizing every sensitive nerve in me. The way that her lips had wrapped around my nipples, so soft yet possessive left me in a misted maze of sensations and emotions. I thought from just her artful caresses of my turgid nipples would send me over the edge with each flick of her tongue. She had said everything was going to be okay, but even at that moment I knew better. I felt something strange building in the pit of my stomach as I watched her auburn eyes lashes resting on the tops of her cheeks. Even then in the earliest of mornings she was beautiful, gentle and enchanting. The first trace of guilt tainted my thoughts until it struck like lightning in my chest. I had to leap out of bed bounding to my feet in one quick motion. I wondered if she even noticed me sneaking out or whether the groan that she made when she turned around to face the wall was an approval for me to leave. Either way I left her sleeping naked under the covers, relieved that she let me go without any questions. I grabbed a shower and my tattered baseball cap and headed off to class. I carried around a looming sense of dread in my back pocket, knowing that I would have to return sooner or later.
It was another cool misty morning with the sky unbroken by the sun and the only sounds were shuffles of late feet and the joggers clomping pass me to some rhythm of their own. I held my heart in my palms as I walked uneasily, following a familiar pair of heels in front of me. I could hardly lift my heavy head to acknowledge the “hellos and the how are yous” from shadows I recognized. I searched deep in my pockets with my fingertips reaching and looking for the little tube settled on the bottom seam, still walking briskly on the paved path. I was addicted to lip balm and kept rubbing the gloss over my lips until I looked like I had finished an entire bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I wiped the excess off with the back of my sleeve before I snuck into class hiding in the back.
The stadium seating made it impossible to hunker down in the hole that I was yearning for right then. My eyes scanned the room wondering if anyone else was doing the same, making some uncomfortable eye contacts before I sunk into a hard plastic molded seat. Pulling the bill of the hat over my eyes, I slumped down, trying to make myself as small as I could, hoping to disappear from sight. The brim set my sight level low, which presented just the tops of my knees and the person in front of me in the view frame. I immediately noticed the girl sitting just ahead of me. She had her hair pulled back in a tight pony tail and wore a champagne pink braless tank top and white jersey knit pants that clung in all the right places. Normally, checking out what another girl was wearing would be just something I did, but this morning I became acutely aware of all the girls in class and not just their clothes. I started to wonder about it all: the staring, my feelings, my actions and my thoughts. How often had I done that? Was I checking out their outfits, or was I checking them out? I held my breath when I caught myself staring down her shirt watching her breasts move as she shifted in her seat. Supple and warm, I thought to myself as I could almost picture my mouth around the areolas. My pen cap was little more than a nub by the time class ended.
I grabbed my books shaking my head in disbelief. Was I a lesbian? Oh God! Oh God? She brushed my hip as she scooted by me. I was a ball of nerves shaking under my clothes. I could feel my palms starting to sweat. I couldn’t have been gay, I knew I like guys. After all, my fantasies were about men, not women. In fact all my fantasies and day-dream fucks were about Matt. He was a guy, a real guy, a football playing guy. “Heather! What’s your deal?” a voice came from across the room. “What?” I shook my head searching for the voice. I said, what’s your deal? You look like you’ve been dragged around the streets or something.” Matt chuckled, walking towards me with his Jan’s Sport backpack slung onto one shoulder.
He stood over 6’2, and I could feel his presence whenever he was in the room. He had broad flat shoulders, muscular arms with visible veins that wrapped around his forearms, and strong hands that I fantasized about all too often. He wore an “Akira” t-shirt and army green cargo pants and Adidas tennis shoes; I suppose it would be the typical college-guy type gear, but what always interested me was what was under them.
“I don’t want to get into it right now. Seriously.” I started pulling the straps of my bag over my shoulders. “Ooo seriously. Sounds like coffee-talking words to me. Wanna go grab a cup? I hear there’s a muffin involved.” He was too beautiful to say no bahis firmaları to. “Yeah, but don’t expect anything from me.” I said, dragging my heels with a light and secret bounce in my step at his every comment. “Never do, little buddy.” I hated it when he said that. We sat outside on the cold benches at the MT Cup under one of those faded green and white canopies. There were leftover crumbs still residing between the holes in the grated table. I stirred my latté cautiously to make sure the whipped cream stayed all together. I sipped slowly and watched Matt’s curious movement towards me in approach to a hug. It turned out to be one of those bear hugs that you get from your uncle during Christmas when he had drunk too much eggnog and you wished that he would just let you breath. But at least Matt smelled better.
“Tell me. What is it?” He asked genuinely. I wished at times like these that people would speak as though they were in one of Jane Austen’s novels, sweet and eloquent with perfect word choices that always imparted more than their simple meanings. But we did not live in her novels, and in life I have found that there are no perfect words to make everything better. I had always wished that Matt would turn into a romantic, writing poetry and playing the guitar, but his hands were made for pigskin and his mind was stuck in Penthouse forums. “Nothing.” I replied, hoping he would pursue the question further. This was the most interest he had ever shown in my personal life. Most days he just wanted to know if I had my lab notes or if I knew so and so. He once said I was his best friend, and he could say anything to me and felt like I was his little sister. It was nice that he was that comfortable with me, but it was also painful as well. My friend Ross told me I was the “marrying” type and not so much the dating type and right now guys were just looking for the other. I had become tired of playing the little sister role. I had become tired of Matt calling me cute and sweet then telling me about the girl he had just banged the night before. Something had to be done before I boil over.
“Oh nothing then is it?” he asked, with his lip curled and fingers tapping the warm paper cup.
“Nothing exactly. After all you aren’t a woman.”
“C’mon, what does that mean? You know I’m here for you, anything you need.” He smiled and I was ashes again.
“Well there is really only one thing, but I don’t think you’re up for it.” I couldn’t believe the words that came out of my mouth. The words seemed to form on my lips on their own accord.
“What do you mean up for it?”
“The only thing you can do for me has everything to do with your dick.” I paused. “I need to have sex with a man,” I stated with ultimate calm. “I want you to take my virginity and sooner the better.” I peered over the rim of my coffee waiting for the laughter to begin.
“Ummm–, Heather. I–I dunno what you mean by–Uhh…”
“Well, let me make it clear for you. I have watched enough movies and read enough books and have concluded that I’m pretty much done with my hymen. It has brought me nothing but grief, and being that I am attracted to you and I know you know it and you are my friend AND it is obvious that you seem to not have problems with ‘sharing’, I think you should share with me.”
I let it sink in a bit for both of our benefits. I had finally let it out. That thing that had been following me around like a bothersome little brother, and letting it out it felt like a cool breeze in August. I wanted to sit naked in it and relish the moment. I’m not sure where my shyness had run away to, but I didn’t miss it. I had no plans to put it on milk cartons to find it. Like an artist or inventor, I sat back and marveled at my creation.
“I don’t think you know what you are asking for,” he stammered out. To my amazement, he wasn’t laughing.
Calmly I smiled, with my finger on my lips. I leaned forward so I was almost touching his ears: “I know exactly what I’m asking for, and I’ve been ready for ages, and I’m ready now.”
“But Heather. You’re such a good friend.”
“Matthew, you’re my first choice, but if it isn’t you then it’s going to be someone else. I need to prove something to myself.”
“And what is that?” He had stopped drinking his coffee the moment the word virginity came to play.
“That I’m really into guys. Last night I had sex with a girl and it was good, real good, but I need something to compare it to so I can decide what is for real.” I had already wrestled with the question and knew the answer, but thought this would be an enticing no-strings-attached approach to getting him in the sack.
“You did what? With who?”
“That’s not what’s important. So will you? Will you pop my cherry?” I laughed trying to insert a trace of humor as an escape route if I needed it.
“I dunno what to say.” He said dryly.
“How about, okay to save our friendship?”
“Okay, to save our friendship.”
We left the coffee on the table. He raised his eyebrows. kaçak iddaa No words were needed from that point on. There was no way that we would be going to my dorm room, and I wondered while we were walking away from the village if he had intended on going to the frat house. We were holding hands and I could feel his fingers rubbing the inside of my palms as we walked in silence. I thought I could see my heart beating through my t-shirt as we walked. When we came across the main statue on campus he stopped and pulled me into his arms. We were young and I was inexperienced, and the kiss was fire. My head swirl around like draining water and I was lost somewhere in the strength of his arms. My eyes were shut tightly and my entire focus was his mouth, his lips, his invading tongue. This kiss was so different from the one from last night, strong passionate, commanding, searching, and mutual. His hands held my face in place as my body surged forward towards him. I felt the tingle of my loins and the center of my hips struggling to be closer. He was looking to me when I opened my eyes. He was smiling.
“Ross and Beth are in my room right now,” he said, still kissing me.
“Jillian is in mine. Is there anywhere we can go?” I said between breaths.
I could feel his urgency in his body pressing against my stomach. In unison we looked towards the all too familiar statue and the area behind it. The 13-foot statue mounted on an 8-foot pedestal stood in the center of the campus. Tall thick bushes wrapped around the brick alcove on the outer edge, forming a sliver of an opening. Without words we dashed into a gap, hiding from the rest of the world. No words were exchanged as we dropped our bags on the ground.
I had pictured that moment in my head so many times, never at that spot, but that very moment was already well rehearsed. As I remember it now, the frantic urgency made it larger than life. He tore into me, pulling my shirt up over my head and attacking my body. His hands pawed at my breasts still held by my bra. He didn’t remove the bra, instead ripped it off of me leaving me breathless. He was on his knees with his mouth on me, running his hands from between my breasts across my flat tummy, unbuttoning my khakis. The sound of the zipper resounded in my head from ear to ear as he tugged on the cloth. I kicked off my shoes stepping out of my pants. I ran my fingers through his hair, pressing his face closer to me. His hot breath pressed against my thin panties as he blew out a breath. I felt his tongue slide between the folds sending surges through every pore of me. He hooked a finger on the elastic waistband, pulling the small piece of fabric away from my body. He placed small kisses on the inside of my thighs.
Then there was his relentless mouth. With tongue out stretched he found my heated desire. It was a shivering reality striking me like a thunder. He went straight for my aching core, slipping my clit between his wet lips and suckling away. My knees shook, and an overwhelming nervous anticipation took hold of me. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t hold back my orgasm. The months of toil and unfulfilled lust powered me to a shaking, shuddering, and heated cum. My sense of sight was lost, my head tossed back with my hands pressing his face hard against me; I couldn’t believe how quick I had came. It was faster than I could have done myself. I heard my own fast breathing beckoning me back to the moment. I recognized my own muffled moaning and allowed his head free from my grip. He stood up with an astonished look that reflected my own. I kissed him madly. It took but a second to pull off his shirt and pants. I pulled down his boxers. His member sprung out as though a spring, hard and purple engorged with blood. I bit my lower lip moving slowly, almost too cautious, wrapping my trembling fingers around his vein-covered shaft. He moaned with each stroke of my hand. I couldn’t help looking at it. I was fascinated by every part. I leaned kissing his chin and shoulders, positioning myself on my knees so I touch it with my tongue.
The head was glistening with pre-cum. I didn’t know exactly what I was suppose to do, but then I let my desire take hold instead of trying to figure out what I thought I should do. I engulfed his cock with my mouth. The head was so silky smooth. I stretched my lips as wide as I could and inched more of him down my throat. My hands found his full balls hanging down against his thighs. He moaned each time I rubbed my thumb across them and I loved the response. I wasn’t so nervous anymore and stopped worrying about whether or not I was doing it right. I flicked my tongue and found the little hole, which I gave special attention to. With one hand on the base of his cock to steady myself and the other caressing his balls, I quickened my pace stroking his member. I managed an easy rhythm that matched his hips, to my amazement he moaned and pushed me away. I looked up startled.
“Baby, I want to cum inside of you.” He kissed my forehead. I must have looked kaçak bahis puzzled. “It felt too good to keep going.” I smiled nervously.
Forming a make-shift cover for the ground with our scattered clothes, he laid me down using one of our backpacks as a pillow. I had always pictured a down feathered bed with lots of lace and candles for my first time, but at that moment nothing mattered except getting him completely inside of me. He hovered over me on his hands. I could feel his legs, then hips and then his stomach resting on my tensed body. He kissed me light on the lips leaning to one side as his free hand found my nipples. His fingers rolled my eraser-sized nipples, sending shivers between my legs. He ran his palms over my rounded hips as they tickled to the touch. He found my pussy wet with desire. His forefinger slipped inside of me, then spread the juices to my outer lips.
“Are you sure?” he asked, circling my clit with his finger. How could I say no to that? I quickly nodded my head in response.
His hands left me for but a moment, and I felt the smooth head that was once in my mouth wiggling my nether lips apart. He rubbed his cock over my clit, tightening my stomach instantaneously. He pressed his head into me. The first inch or two was tight, he was able to easily enter, but once he reached my hymen I could feel the resistance. His hand came up around my ass, squeezing and cupping it before slipping behind my knees and pulling them up high on his hips. He held his cock at the base, staring into my eyes for approval before pushing hard into me. I couldn’t breath. The pain was sharp and intense. I was shaking under him, fighting back a cry. I could feel my pussy pulsating and my lower stomach tightening into a ball. I must have cried; I could feel the burning hot tears rolling down the sides of my cheeks.
“Are you okay?” he asked, keeping so still inside of me.
I could only slowly nod my head again.
His movements were slow and controlled. The next few strokes were almost as painful as the first, but somewhere, sometime in the middle of one the pleasure began. I was taken aback, since in my mind I had assumed that the entire experience would feel just as bad as the first moment. The moans came from the back of my throat as I dug my heel into his back. I wrapped my arms around his neck squeezing him closer to me until our bodies had meshed together. He increased his pace as my breathing escalated. I bit down on my lips trying to keep quiet in the stillness of the morning. With each stroke into me I could feel his cock stretching my walls. I wanted to scream out loud as the amazing feeling grew inside of me. My fingers held him to me and I met his thrusts with my hips. I concentrated on every intense sensation, the heat of his cock inside of me, his sweat rolling onto me, the strength of his arms over me, the power of his thrust into me. I could hardly comprehend it all. Then it struck. A warm flood spread like heated maple syrup in my veins. A mixing pot stirred in my stomach, and a jolt of electricity surged from the middle of my core to every nerve. I cried out loud as each wave of warmth and fire pulsated and saturated me in pleasure.
I panted and heaved my back arching upwards as my toes curled beneath me. Matt started to grunt, his thrust rampant and frantic. He was moving so fast in and out of me I could barely hold myself still to accept his pounding. I cried out, only this time begging him to move faster and harder.
“Yes!! Yes please cum inside of me, please!”
He went over the edge and pumped with everything he had in him. He thrusted into my wet pussy over and over again, sending me into a fast plummeting spiral of delight. I loved his grunts and moans as he verbalized his pleasure. I reached underneath both of us and coddling his balls in my hands and that was what did it. His body tensed, shaking with spasms, convulsing as his muscles clenched together. He pressed in for the last time, exploding his load inside of me. I could feel the hot cum filling me and spurting out onto my thighs. He sucked on my neck holding me tightly, rocking his hips until the last of his spasms subsided.
He kissed me all over my face leaving butterfly kisses on my eyelids. I couldn’t stop giggling as we tried to keep silent in the midst of the morning rush. It must have been time for class somewhere as the footsteps of the other students scurried around us. We waited in silence, staring into each other’s eyes with our hands covering our mouths. It took all that I had to keep from bursting out laughing, and I could see it in his eyes as well. When the moment arrived we quickly dressed and ran out of the opening into the alcove. He kissed me hard on the lips and held me closely to him. With his arms wrapped around my shoulders, he walked me to my dorm. I asked him not to come up with me, instead left him at the bottom of the stairs. My heart was rushing, and I knew I needed time away to gather my thoughts. I was sure he didn’t know why I needed space, but he smiled when I waved and disappeared around the corner. I was floating on puffs of birthday balloon-like happiness as I slipped into my room. I sighed as the door slid closed behind me. Satiated, I was completely satiated.