I’ll never forget it. It was 199x and the evening of my eighteenth birthday. I had a quiet dinner at home with my older brother, Ryan, our twenty-one-year-old sister, Renee, and our parents. It was a Tuesday night and we had scheduled a real party and sleepover with my friends for the upcoming Friday night. After some family time, Ryan left saying he had to be up early for work the next morning. I was disappointed because I had wanted and expected to spend some more time with him.
For years, I had a crush on Ryan. Despite being about eight years older than me with another sister between us, he and I were very close. It had started out as simple sibling admiration but as I grew older, it developed into something else, something that I knew wasn’t right. I tried to hide it and suppress it but I always worried that he and everyone else could see it in my eyes and in everything I did when I was around him.
Ryan stood six feet four inches tall and had a lean, but not lanky, body. He had a face that was angular and contained a pair of amazing grey-blue eyes. His honey blond hair was longer on top to display his natural curls but short on the sides and back except for a thin rat-tail that hung to below his waist. He’d been maintaining it since he was ten and because he refused to cut it, he’d never had more than temporary jobs, most of which paid under the table. Even as he moved past the age of twenty-five, he wore his pants low around his hips exposing a good portion of the boxers beneath. His ears were pierced and usually contained a pair of square faux diamond studs. Completing his thuggish persona, he also grew out his pinky nails with the one on his left hand being nearly two inches long. Overall, he was a really good-looking guy and never lacked a girl on his arm or in his bed. When he smiled at me, I wished I was one of them but hoped he’d never know about my inappropriate feelings for him.
With Ryan gone and feeling sad, I made the excuse that I had homework to finish and went up to my room shortly after he left. I had just entered it and was closing the door when I heard a noise come from my closet. Before I could even register what was happening, Ryan popped his head out.
“What are you doing?” I whispered. Even though I was surprised by his appearance, something told me I shouldn’t alert the others to his presence.
“I wanted to spend some time with you alone.” He matched my volume as he climbed onto my bed then laid on his side facing me with his head propped up on the hand beneath him. “Maybe give you something special for your birthday. That is if you want it.”
My eyes went wide as I saw him slide his other hand into his exposed boxers and begin to play with himself. Thinking I had to be dreaming, I stared at him trying to make sense of what he was doing. Part of me was really flattered that he seemed to want to have sex with me, but I couldn’t believe that he, my big brother, was actually suggesting that. My hesitation was compounded by the fact that I was still a virgin, and despite all of my fantasies, I had not contemplated actually having sex anytime soon, least of all with my hunky brother. Despite recognizing his obvious intent, I asked, “What is it?”
“Your first dick,” he said without hesitation or shame. “I want to give you a special birthday fuck. I know it’ll be your first time and this way it’ll be something you remember fondly instead of hating it like most people do. You’re turning into a woman and the guys are going to really start noticing you, if they haven’t already. I know Mom and Dad keep telling you to wait until you’re married, but that’s bullshit. It’s just sex, and one day you’ll give in and regret it either because you’ll wish you’d done it sooner or he’s not the right guy. I promise you, if I’m your first, you won’t regret it for any reason.”
“I don’t know…” Even though I liked what he was offering, I was nervous and more than a little scared.
Ever my big brother and protector, Ryan stood and pulled me into a hug and I could feel his hardness press against me. In a tone that he often used to comfort me, he said, “I’m not going to force you or pressure you but I think it’s something you’ll hate yourself for if you don’t do it.”
We remained silent for a few minutes as he held me, stroking my back. Between us, his dick throbbed and twitched insistently against my hip and more than once I felt him gently roll his hips to press it into me. Three inches shy of being a full foot shorter than Ryan, my head rested contentedly on his suddenly broad chest and all I could smell was the mix of his antiseptic deodorant and masculine body odor. I remembered how the same scent had lingered for a few weeks in this room, which used to be his, and that thought made me miss him even though he was right there. Coming to a decision, I realized with him being my first, my brother and I would always have a special bond.
With my nerves making my voice soft and shaky, I asked, “How do we do this?”
“Well, bursa otele gelen escort let’s start by getting you naked.” Ryan pulled away and sat on the edge of my bed to watch me undress. He grabbed my remote and turned on the TV, setting the volume to a level that was not too loud but would obscure our soft voices.
Even though I had just agreed to have sex with him, I felt awkward getting undressed in front of him, my brother.
Ryan watched intently as each piece of clothing came off. When I was down to my bra and panties, he leaned back on one elbow and used his other hand to massage his still concealed erection through his jeans. As I reached behind me to unhook my bra, he said, “Go slow.”
I did as he requested. Thinking I could make it less awkward by playing with him, I took my time exposing myself and spun so my back was to him as I released the clasp. Turning slightly to my right as the cup fell away from that breast, I gave him a peek at a bit of the side of it. I turned my back on him again then pivoted to the left to repeat the tease. With my back to him, I dropped the bra to the ground in front of me.
Ryan moaned softly then asked, “You’ve done that before, haven’t you?”
“No.” I was surprised that the act seemed to increase the tension in the room instead of lightening it. With even more butterflies in my stomach, I spoke to him over my shoulder. “First time.”
“You’re a natural.” He moved his hand under his waistband and resumed playing with himself. “Get those panties off. Show me your ass.”
I did as requested and slowly pulled down my underwear. As I bent at the waist to pull the garment passed my knees, I heard him moan softly at the sight of my bare bottom. After stepping out of them, I used one arm to cover my breasts while the other hand covered my crotch then turned around.
“Come here.” Ryan’s voice had taken on a tone that I had not heard from him before. It was deep and authoritative yet still soft and warm.
Hesitantly, I stepped closer to him as he sat up and spread his legs wider.
When he removed his hand from under the baggy jeans he was wearing, he pulled with it the head and a few inches of his erection. Exposed, he made no move to cover himself.
Even though I knew it was necessary to accomplish this task, seeing even this little bit of my brother’s hard penis for the first time caused me to gasp and blush. I averted my eyes and looked up into his to see him giving me a half smile.
“You’re going to do more than see it soon.” Reaching out, he pulled me to stand between his legs against the bed. His smile faded and a serious look took up residence on his face. “Before we go further, I have to ask you something. Are you sure you want to do this? Once we start, there’s no stopping.”
I nodded my head that I did.
“No. I need to hear you say it.”
“Yes. I want to do this.” My voice was shakier than I expected.
He raised an eyebrow. “Do what?”
“I want to have sex with you.”
“Okay. Now, the deal is obviously you can’t tell anyone about this. Ever.”
I nodded and quickly said, “I know.”
“Good.” He reached up and gently removed my arm from my breasts. “So beautiful.”
At five feet seven inches tall and the shortest in the family, I had a small frame but I definitely had our mother’s breasts and hips. Slightly larger than I thought looked good on my petite body, my breasts hung heavily on my chest and were punctuated by large, dark areolas and nipples. My friends jealously teased me about them and my childbearing hips, and I was very aware of the way guys at school and around town looked at my body. My own eyes were a deep brown and I had the same darker blonde hair as my brother that reached the middle of my back. Whenever Ryan and I were together, it was obvious we were siblings due to our similar facial features, though mine were softer and more feminine.
I let out a gasp as Ryan’s mouth attached itself to one of my nipples while one of his hands went to the other breast. He gently tugged, nipped, pinched, and licked at each of my nubs, one with his mouth, the other with his hand. Even though the sound from the TV would cover most of our noise, I struggled to keep my sounds of surprise and unaccustomed pleasure under control. When he switched sides, it felt like the sensations doubled and I covered my mouth with a hand to muffle the sounds.
Satisfied that my nipples were firm enough, he pulled back and moved the hand that was covering my crotch.
“Nice. It’s been a while since I’ve seen one that isn’t shaved.” He ran his fingers through my untrimmed, brown bush then tentatively pressed a finger between my folds. He looked up at me with a surprised smile as his finger stopped at the barrier I knew he’d find. “I’ve always known it from other things, but I can’t tell you how special you are. Not every girl has an intact hymen at your age. It’s not that I didn’t bursa eve gelen eskort believe you were a virgin but at least now there’s no question.”
After that, things seemed to move quickly.
Ryan stood and turned us before gently pushing me down onto the bed. After I was settled on my back, he turned off the lights and locked my door then moved to kneel between my spread legs. Without removing his shoes, he pushed his baggy jeans down to his knees, not bothering, or needing, to open them. Next, he lowered the waistband of his boxers and hooked it beneath his heavy looking balls, freeing his erection.
Even though I had seen part of it rising above his waistband I was not prepared for his size. While I had not let anyone enter me, I had given boyfriends hand jobs and blow jobs and Ryan was noticeably bigger than any of them. I must have displayed my surprise because he let out a soft chuckle.
“I get that a lot. But don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Ryan put some spit on his fingers and used it to lube the tip of his dick and my slit then lowered himself to hover over me and positioned his dick at my entrance. As he bent my knees over his arms and spread my legs a little wider around him, he said, “I’m not going to lie, it’s going to hurt some but it always hurts your first time. The next time we do it, it’ll be much better and you’ll enjoy it more.”
“Next time?” I hadn’t considered the possibility of having sex with Ryan more than once.
“Sure. Only if you want to. But trust me, you’ll want to. I already do.”
I was going to say something more but my breath caught in my throat as he pressed forward. As my outer lips grudgingly spread around the tip of his dick, I involuntarily tensed against the uncomfortably large intrusion.
“It’ll be better if you relax. I know it’s easier said than done but try.” He had stopped with the tip of his crown barely lodged in me. It was just far enough to secure himself while also pressing against my maidenhead. “Ready? Once I’m inside, I’m not going to stop until I’m finished.”
“Yes. I want you— Ow!” I squealed loudly as Ryan rotated his hips quickly and without warning, piercing me. There was a sharp pain as I was breached for the first time and couldn’t help the exclamation.
“Shh,” Ryan hissed angrily. With his dick partially lodged inside me, he stopped moving and waited.
There was soon a knock on the bedroom door and someone trying the knob. Finding the door locked, our mother’s voice asked through the door, “Rachel? Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I responded, trying my hardest to keep my breathing under control. “Just stubbed a toe on the bed while trying to put my nightgown on. Sorry. Have a good night.”
“Night, sweetie. Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks,” I said tightly to her as Ryan resumed pushing into me. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she replied.
“That was close,” Ryan said after her footsteps moved off. He paused again to move a pillow and place it close at hand. “You gotta be quieter. If you need to, bite this or cover your mouth with it.”
“Okay,” I said shakily as he began pushing into me again. The going was slow as my body adjusted to the unfamiliar intrusion. With not quite half of his length in me, he reversed course and began to fuck me slowly with the top of his dick. There was a lot of discomfort as my vaginal walls were stretched for the first time and there was some lingering pain from my hymen breaking but, thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as I had expected. As my body gradually relaxed around him, he began to feed more of his length into me. It seemed to take forever before I felt his hips press against mine.
“That’s all of it,” he said as he paused to adjust his weight and our positioning. Once settled, he began to fuck me with quick but lengthy thrusts. “I’d like to take more time but we might get caught. Next time, we’ll go to my place or make sure Mom and Dad aren’t home.”
There was no intimacy in our act but I didn’t care. Ryan did nothing more than move his hips to complete his mission while I laid there letting him. Part of my mind screamed that what we were doing was wrong, but my thoughts mostly revolved around disbelief that I was actually having sex for the first time and that it was with my brother. I was having sex with the guy I had fantasized the most about.
Despite the lack of finesse in our coupling, as the pain and discomfort grudgingly faded, I began to feel something building within me. I might have been a virgin but I had worked my clit a few times to orgasm so I was familiar with the sensation. However, the way Ryan’s rhythmic motion against my walls was stimulating me was new. I understood it would ultimately be a different way to reach the same end but couldn’t quite get there. I felt the orgasm welling up and knew if I could tap into it, I would feel an immeasurable relief yet I didn’t know how to get to it or explain it to him. Unfortunately, that bayan escort bursa night I wouldn’t be able to explore the options.
“I’m close,” Ryan said through his heavy breathing. His hips sped up and soon I could hear the slapping of our flesh. It was obvious he no longer was concerned about the sound as it only got louder.
“I’m going to come. Oh fuck.” He gave a grunt and I felt his whole body tense. His dick stiffened inside me and I felt an odd warmth spread through my pelvis as he began to fill me.
At that moment, our dad knocked on the door and tried the knob. “Rachel? Do you have someone in there?”
“Shit,” Ryan mumbled even though he erratically continued thrusting his hips through his release.
“No,” I said loud enough to carry through the door.
Our father didn’t convince easily. “Why is your door locked? Open up.”
“Just a second,” I called as Ryan hurriedly pulled out. Even in the dim light from the TV, I could see the thick, white fluid seeping from his tip as he pulled up his jeans and climbed off the bed.
“I hear a bunch of noise. What’s going on in there?”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Ryan said as he climbed out through the open window.
While he ran to the edge of the roof, I put on a nightshirt. After watching him disappear over the side into the cool, September night, I ran my fingers through my hair, took a calming breath then opened the door.
Our parents burst through looking angry and I could see Renee in the hall trying to peek into the room. Seeing my open window, our dad rushed over and looked out while our mom turned on the light and surveyed the room.
“I see a boy running down the street,” our father said. “He just got into a car. I’m going to see if I can catch him. Renee, to your room.”
Renee obeyed the command without hesitation while Dad rushed out and down the stairs.
Alone in the room with my mom, she took a deep breath and asked, “Who was he?”
“Who?” Even though I knew I had been caught, I felt I had to try. At the very least, as I heard the front door slam open, I knew that I couldn’t identify Ryan as being the guy running away. Not just because of him being my brother but because I didn’t want him to get into trouble for what we had done.
“Rachel Marie, don’t play games. You know who.”
“There was no one here.”
“Well ‘no one’ left behind a mess on your comforter, some of which is now running down your leg.”
Not until she said it did I register the wetness that was trickling out of me. I looked down and saw a clumpy trail of blood-stained white running down along the inside of my right thigh. On my bed were a few puddles of congealed white and pink from when Ryan had quickly pulled out of me. I looked back up at my mother with horror in my eyes.
Between gritted teeth, she said, “Go get cleaned up. We’ll talk when your father gets back.”
In the shower, I worried about what was going to happen. I knew I was in trouble but I hoped they didn’t find Ryan because I didn’t want him to get in trouble as well. To my mind, he had gone above and beyond as a big brother and I loved him for it. I was no longer a virgin and, even though it was interrupted by our parents, we now had an even more special connection.
Unfortunately, as I washed myself, every touch seemed to remind me of my unfulfilled orgasm. I wanted desperately to finish myself off but knew that spending more time in the shower than absolutely necessary was inviting more trouble.
After I finished, I was summoned to the living room by my parents. I received the expected lecture about sex that lasted way longer than it needed, should’ve been had years ago, yet told me nothing about safety and the consequences beyond my reputation and soul. Because of the beliefs of our parents and the fact that I went to a private religious school, my sex education had been limited to—and even that night was still limited to—”Don’t do it until you’re married. If you have sex outside of marriage, you’re going to Hell.” Throughout the one-sided conversation, they kept asking who the guy was but it soon became obvious to them that I wasn’t going to tell. As punishment, they said they were cancelling my party unless I told them though I knew even if they had the knowledge the party was off. When I still told them nothing, they sent me to bed.
“I know you don’t believe me,” I heard my father say after I was out of the room and climbing the stairs. “But I swear it was Ryan’s car that drove away.”
“There’s no way it was him,” my mom said. “That’s her brother. Do you understand what you’re accusing them of?”
“Then why isn’t he answering the phone?”
“Knowing him, he’s probably out with his friends,” Mom said with a bit of disgust. Neither of them approved of the people he hung out with. After graduating from the same school I was in, Ryan quickly dropped the religious beliefs our parents had taught us, much to their dismay. Though he never got into real trouble, they nevertheless thought he was a bad seed because of his appearance and kept trying to redeem him.
When I got to my room I saw the window was still open. Walking over, I went to close it and immediately was thankful that my parents hadn’t lingered there. On the windowsill was an inch-long piece of broken fingernail that could have come from only one person.